Someone said once...
"It`s nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice..."

Blamestorming
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
shits over everything / everyone and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant
An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Interactive tv ? Interactive radio with pictures.

When a PC dreams, it dreams it's a Mac.

Walled gardens... All very well, but will we get our ball back.

Too many cookies make you sick.

Internet...Solitary paradise.

Multimedia...Schitzoidmedia.

Secure servers...Home help with a private income.

Do assume that the content will be late.

Remember - the system palette is my friend!

Do remember that the Chairman will want to change the colour.

There's no such thing as a big computer with a fast hard drive and too much memory.

Don't assume you've cracked it until you've broken it.

The world wide web is like wall-papering a hall through a letter-box.

Extrovert programmer definition - he looks at your shoes.

No-one reads junk mail, so why put it on the web.

Don't count on backward, forward or cross-platform compatibility.

Options x idiots = hours.

Don't tell the designer the programmer will sort it out.

If someone has trouble programming a video, don't ask them to install Windows.

The wonderful thing about standards is there's so many of them.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - it's a hardware problem.

Don't tell the the programmer the designer knows what to do.

Back up my hard drive? I can't even find reverse!

If only this were the way life really worked

YOUR TURN

All good suggestions welcome...